“The Barback”: The Mule of the Nightlife
Mood: Strong & Resentful
Meet The Barback.
The Barback
Trade Up
Special Ability: Realize you are doing all the work for none of the tips. Quit and become an electrician.
Grunt Work
Carries the kegs. Fixes the tables. Cleans the spills. Too ugly to be customer-facing.
“Black & Decker isn’t a respected brand in the trades, but it’s a start. Get out while you can.”
This is our second SECRET RARE card because finding a Barback who doesn’t quit after three shifts is statistically impossible. He is depicted carrying a keg on one shoulder and a power drill in the other hand. He looks like he is going to war, but he is just going to fix a wobbly table.
We gave him 100 HP because he lifts more weight in a single shift than a gym rat does in a month.
The “Trade Up” Move
The Barback is in a tough spot.
- Is he doing all the work? Yes. He stocks the ice, changes the kegs, and cleans the vomit.
- Is he getting the phone numbers? No. The bartender gets those.
The harsh reality of the industry is that the Barback is often the “Face for Radio.” He is too ugly to be customer-facing, but too strong to fire.
The Asset: Black+Decker Power Tool Kit
We paired this card with a Black+Decker Tool Kit ($60) because it is a hint.
- To the Barback: Stop changing kegs for tips. Start changing outlets for $100/hour.
- The Message: You are handy. You are strong. You have a work ethic. Go be a tradesman. Go be an electrician. Get a job where you don’t have to wear a black t-shirt soaked in simple syrup.
Black+Decker isn’t the most respected brand in the trades (sorry), but it’s a start. It’s the “Gateway Drug” to a career where you don’t have to listen to drunk people.
The Executive Jokester Verdict
We stamped “SECRET RARE” because a good Barback is the engine of the bar. But a smart Barback realizes he is overqualified for the job.
Use the drill. Fix the table. Then use the drill to build a new career.
The Executive Jokester is a satirical project by a Minnesota Real Estate Agent who respects the hustle, but recommends a trade school.
FROM THE DESK OF THE DIRECTOR
“Thank you for reading the leaked files. If this post made you laugh (or sweat because it’s true), do your civic duty:”
HAVE INTEL?
I need ideas for Sector 09. Drop a comment below with the job title I should roast next.
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