CONFIDENTIAL
Master Asset List
DOC ID: FULL-CATALOG-130 // CLEARANCE: LEVEL 5
Do Not Distribute
Approved by: The Executive Prankster
SECTOR 01
Real Estate & Sales
Target: Buyer’s Agent
Objection Blocker
Asset: Bose Headphones
“INSPECTION FILTER”
“When inspector whispers ‘mold’, press button. If you can’t hear the lawsuit, it doesn’t exist.”
Target: Listing Agent
Pulse Check Ring
Asset: Oura Ring
“LEAD QUALIFIER”
“Shocks you if client credit score is < 600. Stop driving 45 mins for people with no money."
Target: Loan Officer
Dream Crusher
Asset: iPad Mini
APP: “REALITY CHECK”
“Input ‘stated income’. Watch pre-approval dissolve into a rental app. It’s not cruelty; it’s math.”
Target: Influencer Agent
Narcissism Gimbal
Asset: DJI Osmo
“DISTORTION FIELD”
“Keeps video smooth while your life falls apart. Makes a foreclosure look like a ‘Hot Listing’.”
Target: Shady Broker
Pocket Listing Bag
Asset: Faraday Bag
“COMMISSION VAULT”
“Blocks signals so other agents can’t steal leads. Also blocks family calls. Win-win.”
Target: Appraiser
Comps Dartboard
Asset: Winmau Pro
“VALUE ADJUSTER”
“When data doesn’t match the price, throw a dart. Hit a bullseye? Add $50k. It’s science.”
Target: Open House Host
Desperation Scent
Asset: Diptyque Candle
“FRESH BAKED LIES”
“Smells like cookies to mask cat urine and water damage. Vanilla makes buyers ignore wet drywall.”
Target: Team Leader
The Back Stabber
Asset: Benchmade Knife
“NETWORKING TOOL”
“For when a colleague tries to recruit your top producer. Real estate is a contact sport.”
Target: New Agent
Poverty Odometer
Asset: Garmin GPS
“UNPAID TRACKER”
“Tracks every mile driven for clients who end up renting. Watch the number go up while income stays flat.”
Target: Top Producer
The Closer Pen
Asset: Montblanc
“INK RUNS DRY”
“Engineered to die exactly when client says ‘I’m ready to sign’. Simulates a deal falling apart perfectly.”
SECTOR 02
Construction
Target: General Contractor
Two Weeks Watch
Asset: Tag Heuer
STATUS: LOCKED
“Key in envelope marked ‘Certificate of Occupancy’. You get it when inspector signs off. Tick tock.”
Target: Project Manager
Change Order Wand
Asset: Apple Pencil
“BUDGET EXPANDER”
“Bid low? Wave over blueprints to turn a $500 problem into a $5,000 invoice. It’s a revenue stream.”
Target: Site Super
Ghost Detector
Asset: Thermal Camera
“PLUMBER FINDER”
“Plumber said he was ‘on site’. Thermal proves he isn’t. If you can’t find heat, he’s at the bar.”
Target: Architect
Permit VR
Asset: Meta Quest 3
“APPROVEDVILLE”
“A virtual world where the City Planner emails back and lumber is cheap. Enjoy it, it’s not real.”
Target: Subcontractor
Safety Speaker
Asset: Jobsite Radio
“OSHA BLOCKER”
“Crank volume to ignore Site Super screaming about hard hats. Blocks sound of safety violations.”
Target: Developer
Moral Level
Asset: Digital Level
“BUBBLE BROKEN”
“Calibrated to your ethics. Reads ‘Level’ even when foundation is crooked. Pour concrete and run.”
Target: Engineer
Ego Hat
Asset: Carbon Fiber Hardhat
“I KNOW BEST”
“Protects the most fragile thing on site: Your ego. Wear while explaining why the mason is wrong.”
Target: Estimator
Truth Stretcher
Asset: Laser Measure
“SQ FT ADDER”
“Adds 10% to every measurement to cover your bad math. Helps you bid high and deliver… eventually.”
Target: Handyman
The Quick Fix
Asset: Leatherman Arc
“DUCT TAPE ALT”
“For when doing it right takes too long. Why use a wrench when pliers will do? Good enough.”
Target: The Crew
Hydration Station
Asset: Yeti Cooler
“FRIDAY ACTIVATOR”
“Strictly for ‘water’ and ‘soda’ (wink). Do not open until boss leaves or framing is done.”
SECTOR 03
Finance & Corporate
Target: CFO
Charisma Injection
Asset: Breville Espresso
“HUMAN SIMULATOR”
“Intravenous use only. Without this, you are a spreadsheet with legs. Simulate emotion during audits.”
Target: Interim Exec
Severance Hammock
Asset: ENO Hammock
“LANDING GEAR”
“Deploy upon receiving Friday HR invite. Ensures soft landing when ejected from building.”
Target: Founder
Burn Rate Candle
Asset: Jo Malone
“SCENT OF ASH”
“Smells like burning cash. Light during board meetings. When wax runs out, you fold.”
Target: Wealth Manager
Moral Flex Vest
Asset: Patagonia Vest
“DUTY: OPTIONAL”
“Midtown Uniform. Keeps core warm while you sell subprime to grandmas and soul freezes.”
Target: Trader
Portfolio Shield
Asset: Weighted Blanket
“BEAR MARKET COVER”
“Hide under this until red lines turn green. Blocks light, sound, and margin calls.”
Target: Controller
Creative Log
Asset: Moleskine
“OFF THE BOOKS”
“For numbers not meant for IRS. Keep two sets of books: One for investors, one for reality.”
Target: Senior VP
Golden Handcuffs
Asset: Gold Cufflinks
“VESTING REMINDER”
“You hate the job but love the options. Reminder: You literally cannot quit for 3 years.”
Target: Analyst
Margin Fabricator
Asset: HP 12C Calc
“MAGIC NUMBERS”
“Missed earnings? Press ‘Enter’ to invent 5% growth. It’s not fraud, it’s ‘pro forma’.”
Target: Middle Manager
Corporate Noose
Asset: Hermès Tie
“TIGHTEN DAILY”
“Looks expensive while it slowly chokes your dreams of starting that bakery in Vermont.”
Target: Banker
Bonus Retainer
Asset: Tiffany Clip
“EMPTY”
“Holds all the cash you don’t have time to spend because you work 100 hours a week.”
SECTOR 04
Legal & Liability
Target: Senior Partner
6-Minute Rounder
Asset: Hourglass
“BILLABLE TOOL”
“Flip when client breathes. If sand moves, invoice grows. You sell time, not justice.”
Target: Corporate Counsel
Evidence Shredder
Asset: Micro-Cut
“PLAUSIBLE DENY”
“Features ‘Whoops’ setting to destroy subpoenas. Documents never existed. Legal advice not included.”
Target: Litigator
Client Manager
Asset: Iron Sphere
“STRESS WEIGHT”
“Weighs down crushing reality of caseload. Warning: Do not throw at opposing counsel.”
Target: Contract Lawyer
Liability Finder
Asset: Magnifying Glass
“LOOPHOLE SPOTTER”
“Find reasons to bill for reading it twice. If you look close enough, everything is a liability.”
Target: Trial Lawyer
Judicial Override
Asset: Meat Tenderizer
“FACT POUNDER”
“When judge says ‘Sustained’ but you want to talk, pound facts into submission. Or pound the table.”
Target: Retired Judge
Argument Ender
Asset: Walnut Gavel
“HOME SILENCER”
“Used to overrule your spouse at dinner. Warning: May lead to appeal (divorce).”
Target: Bagman
Settlement Carrier
Asset: Rimowa Attache
“CASH TRANSPORT”
“Fits exactly $1M in non-sequential bills. For when the settlement is ‘off the record’.”
Target: Ethics Officer
Justice (Tipped)
Asset: Brass Scales
“PRE-BIASED”
“One side is permanently heavier. Just like the actual system. Beautiful desk ornament for cynics.”
Target: Associate
Billable Liquid
Asset: Ember Mug
“CAFFEINE IV”
“Keeps coffee hot for the 18 hours you are researching case law. Sleep is for partners.”
Target: Divorce Lawyer
Retainer Ringer
Asset: iPhone 16 Pro
“MISERY HOTLINE”
“Rings only when a life falls apart. To you, that sound is a new boat. Pick up, tragedy calls!”
SECTOR 05
The Remote Elite
Target: Developer
Avoidance Hoodie
Asset: American Giant
“I AM OUT”
“Hood Up = Server Down. Hood Down = Eating. Don’t talk to me without a Jira ticket.”
Target: Mid Manager
Panic Pedal
Asset: Elgato Pedal
“CAREER SAVER”
“Foot-operated mute for when you start cursing at CEO on Zoom. Stomp to survive.”
Target: Scrum Master
Standup Enforcer
Asset: Ergo Stool
“SLIDE OFF”
“Ensures daily standup stays standing. If you get comfy, you’re doing Agile wrong.”
Target: Backend
Debt Excavator
Asset: Arch Brush
“LEGACY TOOL”
“Dust off code written by ‘Dave’ in 2009. You aren’t coding, you’re digging ruins.”
Target: Jr Dev
AI Mirror
Asset: Smart Mirror
“OBSOLETE”
“Look into this while ChatGPT writes your code faster. Don’t cry, it ruins the finish.”
Target: Full Stack
Copy/Paste Board
Asset: HHKB Keyboard
“STACK LINK”
“C and V keys are reinforced steel. Why write code when someone else already did?”
Target: Gamer/Dev
Carpal Inducer
Asset: Logitech MX
“WRIST RUINER”
“Claims to be ergonomic. After 16 hours of clicking, your hand is a claw. Enjoy.”
Target: Engineer
PM Silencer
Asset: Sony XM5
“REQUEST BLOCK”
“Noise cancelling tuned to block the phrase ‘Can we just add one small thing?'”
Target: Night Owl
Dark Mode
Asset: LG OLED
“CAVE SIM”
“Simulates cave environment. Perfect for devs who haven’t seen the sun since v2.0.”
Target: SysAdmin
Spaghetti Mgr
Asset: Tech Kit
“CABLE HELL”
“Organize the mess that is your server room. Won’t fix the network, but failure looks tidy.”
SECTOR 06
Marketing & PR
Target: PR Director
Crisis Fluid
Asset: Crystal Bar Set
“TRUTH DILUTER”
“Drink until the press release makes sense. When CEO tweets illegal things at 2AM, pour double.”
Target: Social Mgr
Reality Beam
Asset: HD Projector
“VANITY METRIC”
“Project engagement numbers until they look big enough to justify salary. If asked about ROI, run.”
Target: CMO
Vision Fog
Asset: Fog Machine
“STRATEGY GEN”
“Fill boardroom with smoke. Mimics your strategy: Opaque, intangible, and everywhere.”
Target: Creator
Viral Petri Dish
Asset: Lab Glassware
“ORGANIC GROWTH”
“The only way you’re ‘going viral’ is biologically. Grow cultures; faster than the algorithm.”
Target: Brand Amb
Syndrome Block
Asset: Acoustic Panel
“MAIN CHARACTER”
“Absorbs sound of people asking for ‘collabs’. Stops Main Character Syndrome leaking into hall.”
Target: Photographer
Truth Filter
Asset: Leica Camera
“LIES ONLY”
“Takes photos making product look functional and models happy. Basically, lies 60 times/sec.”
Target: Copywriter
Buzzword Amp
Asset: Shure Mic
“SYNERGY BOOST”
“Makes ‘Paradigm Shift’ sound important. Use when you have nothing to say but must talk.”
Target: Account Exec
Campaign Spinner
Asset: Field Notes
“EXCUSE LOG”
“Write down why campaign failed. Hint: It wasn’t the creative, it was the ‘algorithm’.”
Target: Art Director
Brand Police
Asset: Pantone Book
“COLOR COP”
“Arrest anyone using wrong shade of blue. It’s not Navy, it’s ‘Midnight Azure’!”
Target: Intern
Part. Trophy
Asset: Gold Cup
“YOU TRIED”
“Awarded for posting on TikTok without getting company cancelled. Good job. Get coffee.”
SECTOR 07
Healthcare
Target: Surgeon
God Mirror
Asset: Vanity Mirror
“CENTER OF UNIV”
“Stare for 5 mins before surgery. Confirm you are the most important person. Then yell at nurse.”
Target: Admin
Denial Stamp
Asset: Brass Stamp
“REJECTED”
“Saves time. Stamp ‘No’ on prior auths and go to lunch. Efficiency is key.”
Target: Family GP
Placebo Candy
Asset: Apothecary Jar
“CURE-ALL”
“Tic-Tacs for patients who Googled symptoms and demand antibiotics for a cold.”
Target: Resident
Scream Pillow
Asset: Memory Foam
“SOUND VOID”
“Use when pager beeps at 3AM for Tylenol. Scream here to avoid malpractice suits.”
Target: Pharmacist
Chart Decoder
Asset: Decoder Ring
“SCRAWL READER”
“Is it Amoxicillin or Amputation? Spin ring and take a guess. Good luck!”
Target: Chief
Ego Amplifier
Asset: Stethoscope
“I AM GOD”
“Wear around neck to remind everyone who matters. (Hint: It’s you).”
Target: Nurse
Work Pajamas
Asset: Figs Scrubs
“NAP READY”
“Socially acceptable to wear sleepwear to work if you call them ‘Scrubs’. You’re welcome.”
Target: On-Call
The Leash
Asset: Retro Pager
“OWNED”
“Vibrates to remind you that you are owned. Thought you were at dinner? Cute. Go to ER.”
Target: Med Student
Soul Searcher
Asset: Pen Light
“FIND NOTHING”
“Shine in eyes to check pupils. Also useful for looking for your will to live (gone).”
Target: Triage
Patient Repel
Asset: Purell
“DO NOT TOUCH”
“Apply after shaking hands with WebMD users. Kills germs, but not stupid questions.”
SECTOR 08
Hospitality
Target: Bartender
Verbal Tip Jar
Asset: Trash Bin
“DEPOSIT LIES”
“For when they say ‘I’ll take care of you’ and leave $2. Open lid, insert lies directly.”
Target: Manager
Karen Repel
Asset: Aesop Spray
“ENTITLEMENT”
“Spray at anyone asking to ‘speak to you’. Masks scent of cheap perfume and audacity.”
Target: Bouncer
86’d Clipboard
Asset: Alum. Board
“OWNER LIST”
“List of people who know the owner. Spoiler: It’s empty. Nobody knows the owner.”
Target: Server
Clopen Kit
Asset: Nespresso
“4-HOUR SLEEP”
“Close bar at 3AM, open brunch at 9AM. Replaces sleep with pure vibration.”
Target: Hostess
Fake Smile Kit
Asset: Whitening
“FACADE”
“Keeps teeth white while you grit them in rage. Prevents facial fatigue from fake laughing.”
Target: Mixologist
Weak Pour Hider
Asset: Shaker
“ICE ILLUSION”
“Fill with ice so 1oz looks huge. It’s not a rip-off, it’s ‘artisanal presentation’.”
Target: Line Cook
Splatter Shield
Asset: Apron
“GREASE ARMOR”
“Protects from fryer oil, but not from Chef screaming about overcooked scallops.”
Target: Waiter
Order Forgetter
Asset: G2 Pen
“NO MODS”
“Write down ‘Ranch on side’. Look at it. Ignore it. Customer doesn’t know what they want.”
Target: Sommelier
Cork Breaker
Asset: Wine Key
“VINTAGE RUIN”
“Crumble cork directly into $200 Cab. Filter through teeth, nobody will know.”
Target: Runner
14Hr Shoes
Asset: Hokas
“SUPPORT”
“Comfy enough to walk 15 miles carrying hot plates for ungrateful people. Feet OK, soul hurts.”
SECTOR 09
Automotive
Target: Paranoid
Validation Cam
Asset: Dash Cam
“SEE??”
“Uploads to Nextdoor to complain about neighbors in 4K. Proof everyone else is the problem.”
Target: MN Commuter
Winter Denial
Asset: Remote Start
“SAUNA MODE”
“Pre-heat to ‘Sauna’ while coworkers scrape ice. Not idling; survival. Burn gas, stay warm.”
Target: Cheater
Silent Passenger
Asset: Skeleton
“HOV OFFICER”
“Buckle him in. Qualifies you for Express Lane. Doesn’t talk or touch the radio.”
Target: Walker
Kingsman Def.
Asset: Umbrella
“BATON”
“Keeps you dry and whacks creeps with 50lbs force. Stay dry, stay dangerous.”
Target: Merger
Rage Horn
Asset: Air Horn
“VERBAL ALT”
“When middle finger isn’t enough. Translates ‘Learn to Drive’ into 150 decibels.”
Target: Secret Eater
Fry Hider
Asset: Freshener
“MASKER”
“Hides shame of eating McDonalds in traffic. Spouse doesn’t need to know about nuggets.”
Target: Aggressive
Wheel Grips
Asset: Leather Gloves
“KNUCKLE SAVE”
“For gripping wheel until hands turn white. Keeps palms dry while screaming at traffic.”
Target: Shy Driver
Eye Avoider
Asset: Ray-Bans
“SHAME SHIELD”
“So the guy you cut off can’t see your fear. Look cool while driving terribly.”
Target: Distracted
Doom Dock
Asset: MagSafe
“TIKTOK VIEW”
“Allows watching TikToks at 70mph without looking down. Safety third!”
Target: Messy Car
Evidence Vac
Asset: Dyson
“CRUMB ERASER”
“Removes traces of children you transport. Pretend you are a single professional who eats clean.”
SECTOR 10
Office Dynamics
Target: New Parent
Spare Love
Asset: Dog Collar
“FORGOTTEN”
“You used to love the dog. Now it’s a hairy roommate. Reminder to feed it occasionally.”
Target: Expert
Advice Jar
Asset: Crystal Vase
“RATES APPLY”
“For ‘Can I pick your brain?’ Pity tips insult. Laugh tips genuine. Make them pay.”
Target: Freezing
Placebo Stat
Asset: Fake Nest
“ILLUSION”
“Let them turn dial. Does nothing, but they feel heard. Ultimate management tool.”
Target: Victim
Biohazard Tub
Asset: Glass Ware
“TRANSPLANT”
“Stops fridge thief. Makes turkey sandwich look like medical specimen. Bon appétit, Dave.”
Target: Quitter
Exit Strategy
Asset: Compass
“RETIREMENT N”
“Points towards day you vest options. Follow it home.”
Target: Cubicle Mate
Oxygen Thief
Asset: Fiddle Fig
“AIR REPLACE”
“Creates oxygen to replace what you waste speaking in meetings. Keep alive, we need air.”
Target: Gossip
Msg Carrier
Asset: Yeti Mug
“TEA SPILLED”
“Keeps gossip hot, unlike your work performance. Sip slowly while destroying reputations.”
Target: Milton
Red Swingline
Asset: Stapler
“MINE”
“If they take it, set building on fire. Only reasonable response.”
Target: Clock Watcher
5PM Timer
Asset: Nixie Clock
“FREEDOM”
“Counts down seconds until you can legally leave. Makes day feel twice as long!”
Target: WFH
Spine Crush
Asset: Aeron Chair
“PRISON SEAT”
“You spend more time in this chair than in bed. Get comfortable, you live here now.”
SECTOR 11
Crypto
Target: HODLer
Bag Vault
Asset: Ledger Nano
“VOID KEY”
“Safest place for assets that lost 90% value. Not a loss until you sell (or open box).”
Target: Degen
Actual Money
Asset: Gold Coin
“REALITY”
“Unlike portfolio, this exists. Use to bribe border guards when exchange crashes.”
Target: Trader
Lambo Key
Asset: Keychain
“ASPIRATION”
“Closest you’ll get. Attach to 2012 Civic key for maximum irony.”
Target: ETH User
Gas Calc
Asset: Abacus
“FEE EST”
“Slide beads to calc how much you burned buying monkey pic. Low tech, high fees.”
Target: Metaverse
Lonely Sim
Asset: Meta Quest
“VOID”
“Escape world where people tolerate you into digital void where nobody is. Enjoy legs.”
Target: Founder
Anon Hoodie
Asset: Black Hoodie
“RUG PULL”
“Wear when deleting Telegram and fleeing country. Standard uniform for crypto CEOs.”
Target: Trader
Chart Watch
Asset: Vert Monitor
“RED CANDLE”
“Watch net worth disappear in 4K. Rotate vertical to see how far down graph goes.”
Target: Newbie
Seed Loser
Asset: Steel Plate
“PW GRAVE”
“Punch in 12 words. Immediately lose heavy plate. Ensures nobody (inc you) gets money.”
Target: Investor
Rug Token
Asset: Custom Rug
“PULLED”
“Stand on it so we can pull it out from under you. Simulates meme coin investing.”
Target: Artist
Right Click
Asset: Digital Frame
“JPEG VIEW”
“Displays art you don’t own, but have receipt for link to. Totally same thing.”
SECTOR 12
Creative
Target: Designer
Rev Graveyard
Asset: 4TB SSD
“FINAL_V3”
“Holds every version client hated. Keep forever. They’ll ask for V1 again next week.”
Target: Art Dir
Client Filter
Asset: EnChroma
“BAD TASTE”
“Put on to see world exactly how client does: Wrong, muted, and lacking nuance.”
Target: Freelance
Exposure Pay
Asset: Wallet
“MONOPOLY”
“Filled with monopoly money: the currency you get paid in. Cannot be used for rent.”
Target: Copywriter
Burnout Lamp
Asset: Desk Lamp
“MIDNIGHT OIL”
“Shines at 2AM so CD knows you’re ‘passionate’ (desperate). Vitamin D not included.”
Target: UX
Lorem Die
Asset: Brass Dice
“STRATEGY”
“Roll for copy. Snake eyes? Use ChatGPT. Nobody reads the UI anyway.”
Target: Illustrator
Doodle Pad
Asset: iPad Pro
“$1000 NAPKIN”
“Expensive way to draw sketches client will ruin with ‘feedback’. Enjoy pixels.”
Target: Junior
Idea Eraser
Asset: Blackwing
“FEEDBACK”
“Eraser is bigger than lead. Use it. Your first 50 ideas are terrible.”
Target: Student
Dead Port
Asset: Portfolio
“KILLED WORK”
“Graveyard of great ideas that died in committee. Nobody will ever see them.”
Target: Video
Lens Cap
Asset: 50mm Lens
“GLUED ON”
“Capture exactly what client paid for: Nothing. Blank screen > what they asked for.”
Target: Type
Comic Key
Asset: Keycap
“DEFAULT”
“Replaces every font with Comic Sans. Pure hell for anyone with taste.”
SECTOR 13
Nepotism
Target: Heir
Bootstraps
Asset: Hermès Lace
“UNUSED”
“For pulling self up. Warning: Never touched by human hands, especially yours.”
Target: VP Strategy
Son Trophy
Asset: Crystal
“WHY HERE”
“Reminds employees why you have corner office. Wasn’t the MBA, it was your last name.”
Target: Ivy Grad
Lib Receipt
Asset: Pennant
“ADMISSION”
“Proof of rigor. You got in hard way: Buying building for university.”
Target: Founder
Safety Net
Asset: Cashmere
“BLOCKER”
“Soft, warm, impenetrable. Wrap when startup fails. Daddy will catch you.”
Target: Jr Mgr
Del. Whistle
Asset: Silver Whistle
“AVOIDANCE”
“Blow when work appears. Intern appears to do it. Magic.”
Target: Sales VP
Deal Closer
Asset: ProV1
“CLUB ACCESS”
“Only place you do work. Deals made on green, not office. Nice swing, Tanner.”
Target: Founder
Dad’s Money
Asset: Rolex
“SEED ROUND”
“Keeps time while you burn inheritance on lifestyle brand nobody wants.”
Target: Director
Co. Vehicle
Asset: Porsche Key
“TAX WRITE”
“Business expense. Promise. Drove to meeting once, so it counts.”
Target: Board
Bought Deg.
Asset: Diploma
“DONOR”
“Cum Laude (because of gym). Hang high so people assume you read books.”
Target: CEO
Empty Suit
Asset: Armani
“NO SUBST”
“Looks expensive. Contains nothing inside. Perfect uniform for leadership.”
NOTE FROM THE DIRECTOR
Confession Time
Who specifically came to mind while you were scrolling? (Don’t worry, we won’t tell HR).
Drop a comment below with your favorite item, or tell me which department I missed. If the demand is high enough, I might just manufacture these for real.
“And finally, a sincere thank you. In a world obsessed with polished ‘professionalism’ and fake smiles, thank you for having the guts to peek behind the curtain. The Duality is real, but at least we can laugh at it together.”
– The Executive Prankster
Confession Time: Who specifically came to mind while you were scrolling? (Don’t worry, we won’t tell HR).
Drop a comment below with your favorite item, or tell me which department I missed. If the demand is high enough, I might just manufacture these for real.
A Sincere Thank You: In a world obsessed with polished “professionalism” and fake smiles, thank you for having the guts to peek behind the curtain. The Duality is real, but at least we can laugh at it together.
— The Executive Jokester