SECTOR 01: REAL ESTATE
“Commission Breath & Broken Dreams”
Shady Buyer’s Agent
Objection Blocker
Reduces “Inspector Voice” volume by 85%.
Over-Eager Noob
Pulse Check
If heart beats, show them 50 houses.
Dream Crusher
Auto-Reject
Type 3 numbers. Algorithm kills deal.
Influencer Agent
Narcissistic Speech
Talks about “Personal Brand” while house burns.
The Shady Broker
Pocket Listing
Hides listing to keep 100% commission.
Number Sniper
Contract Lock-On
Hits the purchase price exactly. Magic.
The Back Stabber
The CMA Heist
Uses your data to steal your client.
The Cold Caller
Script Reader
Reads robotically. 0.02% conversion.
INTERNAL MEMO: SECTOR 01 ANALYSIS
This collection represents the “Standard Operating Procedures” of the modern Real Estate industry. While ostensibly a list of Funny Real Estate Gag Gifts and Realtor Appreciation Gifts, this catalog serves as a field guide to the personalities that dominate the housing market.
From the New Agent struggling with lead generation to the Top Producer struggling with basic empathy, these assets are designed for those who know that the “American Dream” usually involves a lot of paperwork and a little bit of panic.
Status: Leaked. Do not distribute to the Ethics Committee.