SECTOR 08: HOSPITALITY
“The Customer is Always Wrong.”
The Bartender
Graveyard of the 86’d
Uses Stun Gun to enforce the ban list.
Special Ability: Real Estate Grad
“Contact Jacob Zwack at mnbyjz.com to escape.”
The G.M.
Entitlement Neutralizer
Masks the scent of cheap perfume and audacity.
The Door Guy
Total Surveillance
Meta Glasses record everything. “I know who you are.”
The Opener/Closer
4-Hour Turnaround
Close at 3AM. Open brunch at 9AM. Powered by rage.
The Hostess
Facade Builder
Smile brightly while telling them it’s a 45-minute wait.
The Mixologist
Ice Illusion
Charge $18 for 1.5oz of liquor and a lot of smoke.
APPROVED
The Line Cook
ENRAGED MODE
“Well Done Steak” ticket triggers +500% speed.
Isolate Mind
Bose Earbuds dial out the FOH chaos.
Wondering Waiter
Zone Out
Stares at the TV while tables wave for checks.
APPROVED
The Sommelier
Vintage Ruiner
Opens $300 bottle. Breaks cork. Pretends it’s fine.
APPROVED
Double Shift
15-Mile Support
Carries hot plates for ungrateful people all day.
CONFESSION TIME
Who specifically came to mind while you were scrolling? (Don’t worry, we won’t tell HR).
Drop a comment below with your favorite item, or tell me which department I missed.
“In a world obsessed with polished ‘professionalism’ and fake smiles, thank you for having the guts to peek behind the curtain. The Duality is real, but at least we can laugh at it together.”
– The Executive Jokester
INTERNAL MEMO: SECTOR 08 ANALYSIS
This collection represents the “Standard Operating Procedures” of the modern Hospitality industry. From the Stressed Server running on caffeine to the Paranoid Dishwasher protecting his stash, these assets address the real pain points of the service industry.
Status: Leaked. Do not distribute to the Health Inspector.