“The Site Supervisor”: Big Brother in a Shipping Container
Meet The Site Supervisor.
Site Supervisor
All-Seeing Eye
12MP Pet Detection repurposed to detect ‘Leaning on Shovel’. Zoom in to see who is texting.
Voice of God
Uses 2-way audio to scream “GET BACK TO WORK” from his home office 40 miles away.
BY THE EXECUTIVE JOKESTER
Meet The Site Supervisor.
On our latest Tactical Trading Card, he is depicted in a dark bunker, face illuminated by the glow of 12 different monitor feeds. We gave him 150 HP because you can’t kill what you can’t see, and he is never actually on the site. He is just a voice coming from a speaker, a phantom presence haunting the construction schedule.
His class is “Enforcer.” And his asset is the Reolink 12MP Security System.
The “All-Seeing Eye” Move
In the old days, if you wanted to slack off, you just waited for the boss’s truck to leave. You watched the taillights fade, and then you took a break.
Now? The truck never leaves because the truck is a camera. And the camera has AI.
The modern Site Supervisor uses 12 Megapixel Person/Vehicle Detection.
- Worker leans on a shovel? Alert triggered.
- Subcontractor takes a 31-minute lunch? Alert triggered.
- Plumber scratches his nose? The Supervisor zooms in to see if he’s violating safety protocols.
It isn’t project management; it’s the Panopticon. He knows who stole the Monster Energy drink from the cooler before the thief has even opened the tab. He tracks “Time on Tool” like it’s a Moneyball statistic.
The “Voice of God”
We gave this card the special ability “Remote Yell” (Voice of God).
The Reolink system has two-way audio. This allows the Supervisor to scream at a roofer from the comfort of his air-conditioned home office 40 miles away. Imagine being 30 feet up on a ladder, minding your own business, and suddenly hearing a disembodied voice from a pole shout: “PUT YOUR SAFETY GLASSES ON, DAVE.”
It is terrifying. It is dystopian. It is effective. It is the future of labor relations.
The Asset: Reolink 12MP PoE System
We paired this card with the Reolink Commercial System because 1080p isn’t enough to catch a guy texting. You need 12MP Ultra HD.
You need to be able to read the text message on his phone screen from a pole mounted 50 feet away. This system offers color night vision, so even the night watchman isn’t safe. It records 24/7, creating a permanent archive of every mistake anyone has ever made.
The Executive Jokester Verdict
We stamped “NOT APPROVED” on this card because leading by fear is old school. It creates a culture of paranoia, not productivity.
But we have to admit: If you have a job site where expensive copper wire keeps walking away on its own legs, this system pays for itself in a week. Just don’t be surprised when your crew starts wearing tinfoil hats to block the signals.
The Executive Jokester is a satirical project by a Minnesota Real Estate Agent who always smiles at security cameras, just in case they are watching.
FROM THE DESK OF THE DIRECTOR
“Thank you for reading the leaked files. If this post made you laugh (or sweat because it’s true), do your civic duty:”
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