If It Breaks” Bucket: The Only Homeowner Warranty You Actually Need

Funny photo of Realtor Jacob Zwack in a blue suit smiling on a porch next to a rustic wooden sign that says 'Go Away' and a small garden gnome, representing a funny housewarming or closing gift.

Congratulations! You just bought a house. You signed the papers. You got the keys. You are riding high on the American Dream. Then, about 4 hours after you move in, a cabinet handle will fall off. Or a door will start squeaking like a dying violin. Or you will realize the previous owner tried to … Read more

The “Honest” Welcome Sign: For When You Love Your Neighbors (From a Distance)

A festive "Go Away" sign made out of wood. This sign features a gnome and comes with outfits that are interchangeable.

As a Realtor, I spend my days selling the dream of “Community.” I talk about friendly neighbors, block parties, and open-door policies. I hand over the keys with a smile and say, “Welcome Home!” But let’s be real. Sometimes, the best part of owning a home is locking the front door, closing the blinds, and … Read more